I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
