i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
