i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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