i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
