Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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