you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
