Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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