I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
