brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
