Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
