i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
