She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
