Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
