Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
