Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
