Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Someone shattered a urinal.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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