we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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