Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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