Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
