that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
