loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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