what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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