my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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