I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need water and some morals
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
