Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
