i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
