I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
