like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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