Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
porn star boner night. come get it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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