Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
