I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
love makes seman taste better
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
