Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
