Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
