why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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