he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
