Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
