Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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