This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think people are normalizing furries
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
