You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
