It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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