You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
