Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
