I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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