i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
