bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
