so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
