Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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