also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
