Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
