His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
