you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
