take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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