We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
