just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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