with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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