We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
