You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
