College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
